Breathe

Inhale
Exhale

I can't sleep

Inhale
Exhale

I listen to you breathe

Inhale
Exhale

I stare at you as you sleep
wondering how something so simple
could make me feel so complete

Inhale
Exhale

You look so peaceful
the way your chest rises
and then falls-oh so graceful

Inhale
Exhale

Staring at your smooth complexion
tracing your body-lusting
at the sight of your muscle definition

Inhale-damn-
Exhale

Placing kisses on your face
you awake
and wrap your arms around my waist
you whisper "i love you" in my ear
it takes my breath away
along with all of my fears

Inhale
Exhale

Listening to your heartbeat
my head on your chest
it puts me to sleep

Inhale
Exhale

I listen to you breathe

-MRyanHarris

[[then&now]]

Then
Who do I have to be to make u see that I'm all u need
And that aint no other girl quite like me
Not tryin to b cocky but I'm the fuckin best
Always 10 steps ahead of all the rest
I've done everything I could think of to do
To make u see that only person I want to be with it is you
It seems like no matter how many times I say it
It never makes a difference cuz I keep dealing wit the same shit
torn like letoya luckett
Half of me wants to stay the other half wants to say fuck it
But saying 'fuck it' isn't as easy it sounds
Cuz being with u makes my heart pound
My knees get weak and my heart skips beats
I can't stand not seeing u for more than a few weeks
Forgetting about u is something I can't do
Especially not after all the shit we been thru
Things I wish I didn't kno
I found out when I committed the ultimate no-no
Going thru ur phone was something I wish I'd never done
But my trust issues got in the way and I doubted I was the only one
I played it cool like wat I read didn't bother me
But inside I was crying the tears I didn't want u to see
I had a feeling there were other girls
But I didnt trip cuz I wasn't ur "official girl"
So I acted like I didn't care cuz I was ur number one
But that wasn't good enough-I wanted to be the only one.
Now
Silly silly me, I should have known u would be like all the rest
But its too late now to have any regrets
Being with you is something that I will never do
Cuz I refuse to ever again be your fool
I wonder if u meant all those things that u said
On those nights when u was layed up in MY bed
I thought what we had was something so real
But now I see that was never the deal
Off and on a year and a half with me
But she’s the one sayin “I love you baby”
That shit hurt me deep down to my core
I didn’t even think it was possible for me to hurt anymore
I don’t even know how I feel
Cuz none of this even seems real
I trusted my heart with you
Now what am I supposed to do?
I guess its time to pick up the pieces and move on
So with that said…baby im done.

--MRyanHarris
June 2009

[[Lessons]]

Everything in life happens for a reason..
I kno ur probably thinking that you've heard this like 500 million times before..but I learned that it is because it is the honest to God truth. Something that you think was so trivial could have possibly changed ur life without you even realizing it. The random people that you meet, the arguements, the break ups, the heartbreaks, the deaths of loved ones and the births of new ones...it all happens for a reason. NOTHING is by chance. You may not realize it now, but one day everything will come full circle.

Mistakes are made and lessons are learned..
AMEN! lol...If you don't make mistakes, how do you learn? Everything can't be taught from a book..life is the best teacher you can have. We are young..this is the time to make mistakes! So that we can grow and be responsible, wise adults. Make ur mistakes..learn from them and move on! BUT WAIT!!! realize there is a difference between making a mistake and making a STUPID mistake...and I'll leave it at that...

On to the subject that plagues us young people most..LOVE and HEARTBREAK
Its been killing me these days to hear people my age say "I'm done with love" "fuck love" and all those things..
Now I can't front-I used to be one of those people..but then I really sat back and I thought about it. I am only 20 years old... 20!!!! I have only been on this earth for 2 decades and I have only lived in two places..ATL and Hampton, VA...now who am I to say I give up on love just because I've encountered my share of assholes?? I haven't even really LIVED yet to even experience true love and I'm giving up...that makes absolutely no sense at all! For those who have found love..congratulations it is a beautiful thing...for those who are still looking..it will come. Don't stress it..for what?! The more pressure you put on finding love, the harder it will become for u to find because u looking for it too hard! Have you ever dropped something, like the back of an earring, you search and search and you can't find it?? Then as soon as you stop looking for it-BOOM-there it is-right in front of your face.That's how love is..so chill out..enjoy being young and single..LOVE WILL COME.

And we all know that with love, comes the occasional heartbreak...
Heartbreak sucks. We all know that. There is no way around that. It hurts, and it seems like you will NEVER get over it. BUt you see the heart is a phenomenal thing..it can be broken, ripped apart, torn to shreds and stomped on the ground til nothing remains but a mess...but it has the remarkable ability to heal itself and return to the condition that it was in before. Its up to you on how long that takes.

♥mercie™

..::LET IT GO::..

first of..I just want to start this post off by saying that God is real, and I don't understand how anyone could think otherwise, but I do respect everyone's personal views...
While I was facebook the other day, I came across something that was written by TD Jakes and it was something that I needed to read so badly. It amazes me how the right thing always comes along when you need it too...
Reading the piece by TD Jakes really gave me what I needed to keep my head up and move on from my past situation. I will post the piece at the end of the note, but I just want to post one part now that really hit home with me:

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can' t make them stay.

LET THEM GO!.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over

WOW! This really hit home with me because of the fact that it says that just because someone leaves you doesnt make them a bad person. This is very true, my DC boo is not a bad person in any shape or form, I have much love and respect for him, and I always will. I will cherish the memories that I have with him, and as in any relationship, lessons have been learned.
Let it Go by TD Jakes

LET IT GO ...

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:

LET THEM WALK.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying withyou, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can' t make them stay.

LET THEM GO!.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over Let me tell you something I've got the gift of good-bye.

It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. STOP begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ..

LET IT GO!!!

♥mercie™

**OH YEA! thanks to my 804 buddy for puttin me back onto my blog game!!! LOL

Im back!

So I kno its been a while...
but I'm going to try and get back into blogging...just give me a minute ok? LOL

see ya soon!
♥Mercie™

.this time last yr::

wow..its crazy..
today i was just thinking that wow-its july..and this time last yr i was in soo much pain...
this time last yr is when i was suffering from severe heartache because i found out that a guy i thought i was seriously dating was not only seeing someone else but was engaged...

i will never forget that day-ever.
it was a normal day-the guy i was dating had jus left atlanta a few days earlier...while he was here i met his family ((was introduced as his girlfriend)) we discussed being in a relationship-i even asked him if i was the only girl he was dating and looked at my dead in my face and said 'yes-uve been the only for one for 2 and a half months"...and he met my family. it was pretty intense-and i was head over heals for this dude...
so i log onto myspace to leave a comment on his pg-i go to his page and i see this female that was his number one have the default name of "mrs.g.fuller" ((his name was g.fuller)) i click on her profile because i didnt want to believe wat i was seeing..when i get to her page she has pics of him all over her pg with captions saying how much she loved him and how she was so happy they were getting married....yes-married.
my heart dropped.
i could hardly breath-my hands starting shaking-and the tears would not stop falling.
i could not believe wat i seeing...its one thing to have a side piece but damn-u have a fiancee...so that made me the other woman and i had no clue...
we had been dating for 5 months and i HAD NO CLUE!
i was so hurt.
matter of fact-i dont even think hurt is a strong enough word for wat i felt.
i HATED him.
i couldnt stop crying.
how could he do that to me?
and the worst part about it was he lied to me like it was sooo easy.

((the worst part about a lie is knowing you weren't worth the truth))

the rest of my summer i was in so much pain-i tried to hide it as much as i could..and i think i did a pretty good job-at least hiding it from the ones that didnt kno me that well..lol

one day i finally figured out wat i wanted to say-so i sent him a long message on myspace explaining how wrong he was and how i never wanted to speak to him again...

of course he didnt respond...but one month later..i get a phone call...it was him.
he kept saying how sorry he was and how he wanted to tell me he had a girl but he didnt kno how to say it because he really started to like me and he was gonna break up w/ his girl to be with me but then he found out she was pregnant.....
bullshit.

he kept asking me to give him another chance and i told him-how can i trust u if everything we've ever had was a lie....

til this day whenever i talk about him or he is brought up-my whole demenor changes. im still not over wat he did-and im not sure when i will be. but im a whole hell of alot better than i was this time last yr.....

♥mercie™

the power of S-E-X

sex.

that one little word holds so much.

sex.
this word is responsible for creating lives and destroying lives and it can happen all in one single stroke.
it can cause pleasure and it can cause pain.
it can destroy a relationship or strengthen it.

sex.
once upon a time this word was hardly ever uttered-now its everywhere!
every time u turn on the tv, radion, computer sex is all you see.

once upon a time sex only purpose was to create life between a man and his wife-now it seems that sex only purpose is to create pleasure for someone-and occasionally a baby comes out of it((which isnt planned most of the time))...


sex.
such a small word-holds so much.



♥mercie™