Tuesday, July 8, 2008

.this time last yr::

wow..its crazy..
today i was just thinking that wow-its july..and this time last yr i was in soo much pain...
this time last yr is when i was suffering from severe heartache because i found out that a guy i thought i was seriously dating was not only seeing someone else but was engaged...

i will never forget that day-ever.
it was a normal day-the guy i was dating had jus left atlanta a few days earlier...while he was here i met his family ((was introduced as his girlfriend)) we discussed being in a relationship-i even asked him if i was the only girl he was dating and looked at my dead in my face and said 'yes-uve been the only for one for 2 and a half months"...and he met my family. it was pretty intense-and i was head over heals for this dude...
so i log onto myspace to leave a comment on his pg-i go to his page and i see this female that was his number one have the default name of "mrs.g.fuller" ((his name was g.fuller)) i click on her profile because i didnt want to believe wat i was seeing..when i get to her page she has pics of him all over her pg with captions saying how much she loved him and how she was so happy they were getting married....yes-married.
my heart dropped.
i could hardly breath-my hands starting shaking-and the tears would not stop falling.
i could not believe wat i seeing...its one thing to have a side piece but damn-u have a fiancee...so that made me the other woman and i had no clue...
we had been dating for 5 months and i HAD NO CLUE!
i was so hurt.
matter of fact-i dont even think hurt is a strong enough word for wat i felt.
i HATED him.
i couldnt stop crying.
how could he do that to me?
and the worst part about it was he lied to me like it was sooo easy.

((the worst part about a lie is knowing you weren't worth the truth))

the rest of my summer i was in so much pain-i tried to hide it as much as i could..and i think i did a pretty good job-at least hiding it from the ones that didnt kno me that well..lol

one day i finally figured out wat i wanted to say-so i sent him a long message on myspace explaining how wrong he was and how i never wanted to speak to him again...

of course he didnt respond...but one month later..i get a phone call...it was him.
he kept saying how sorry he was and how he wanted to tell me he had a girl but he didnt kno how to say it because he really started to like me and he was gonna break up w/ his girl to be with me but then he found out she was pregnant.....

he kept asking me to give him another chance and i told him-how can i trust u if everything we've ever had was a lie....

til this day whenever i talk about him or he is brought up-my whole demenor changes. im still not over wat he did-and im not sure when i will be. but im a whole hell of alot better than i was this time last yr.....


Thursday, July 3, 2008

the power of S-E-X


that one little word holds so much.

this word is responsible for creating lives and destroying lives and it can happen all in one single stroke.
it can cause pleasure and it can cause pain.
it can destroy a relationship or strengthen it.

once upon a time this word was hardly ever uttered-now its everywhere!
every time u turn on the tv, radion, computer sex is all you see.

once upon a time sex only purpose was to create life between a man and his wife-now it seems that sex only purpose is to create pleasure for someone-and occasionally a baby comes out of it((which isnt planned most of the time))...

such a small word-holds so much.