Tuesday, March 25, 2008


his body?
his lips?
his swag?
his eyes?
the way he looks at me?
hell yes.

its something about the way he stares at me that drives me crazy.
it doesn't matter if im in his face or far away...
when our eyes meet..or rather his eyes meet mine...mmmmm
they pierce my soul.
they speak to me.
they say things words never could.


man of my dreams...♥

when i see him my heart smiles....
when he stares at me my heart melts....
when he touches me my heart skips beats....
when he kisses me my knees go weak....
he has a crazy effect on me
whenever i see him i think of we...
how WE could be the ones they love to hate..
how WE could be perfect soulmates
but i dont wanna rush this too fast
cuz somethin like this i want to last
the feelings i feel r kinda unreal
i hope that this shit is the real deal
i smile so much when were together
that time is something i treasure
staring into his brown eyes
everything jus feels so right...
so every night i cant wait to go to sleep
because this is the man of my dreams..


Sunday, March 9, 2008

txt msg

"i'm not tryin to game u when i say this but u have the most gorgeous smile i have ever seen in my life its like one of those smiles u want to wake up to for the next 100 years and u dont want to go to sleep cuz stayin up lookin at it is way better than any dream u could ever possibly have at anytime in ur life."


whenever i feel down i just read this txt and it brightens up my entire day....
this could be game even tho he says its not but i dont care cuz this is by far one of the sweetest things i have ever heard ((read..lol)) in my life....


he said.."trust me..i'd never do that to you."
and i'll be damned if that nigga aint turn around and do what he said he'd NEVER do...

he said.."trust me..i'd never do that to you."
i said.."ha"
he said.."y u laugh? u dont believe me?"
i said.."no..y should i? last guy that said that to me did what he said he'd never do..so what makes you so different?"
he said.."cuz i'm not him"
i said.."he said the same thing too when i asked him in the beginning why i should trust him.."
he said.."baby, you just gotta believe me.."

...well if u cant tell i have MAJOR trust issues. its not something that i'm thrilled about...but i have to have them because ive been lied to so much and i have had my trust betrayed so many times. what makes this guy so different from all the others?
he says its because he genuinely cares about me and would never do anything intentional to hurt me or betray my trust....
but how do i know he's not lying to me??
i don't. i just have to 'trust' him right??

my roommate says that i just need to let it go and just let love happen...i wish it was that easy...
how do i kno that this time around love will happen for me...i dont..and i hate not knowing...
i can't take another heartbreak...i say fuck love because love has fucked me...so how can i trust something that has let me down time and time again???

i cant.

i want to let go and just let it happen but i dont know how...i dont want to get invested to only end up back at square one like i have so many times before...
i want this one to be different..i think he is..my friends all agree that he is...i want to believe that he is different but then again i don't..i cant get hurt if i dont expect anything from him...except for him to fuck up...

thats not a good way to think tho...
ugh..this shit is wayyyy to complicated for me...lol


right now im sitting on my bed at my wonderful home in the wonderful place of atlanta georgia...and im listening to a song and the song is talking about how the guy will give this girl the fairytale love that she has always dreamed about...

if only life was really like the fairytales we believe in as little girls...
sometimes i wanna say damn disney and all them damn movies...damn them to hell..lol
but seriously, it puts this false sense of what love is supposed to be like into our heads and when we get older and realize that love isn't like that we are soooo disappointed...

no guy is perfect..no relationship is perfect.

its all a lie...damn disney...

sometimes i want to go back to being a little girl and thinking that one day i would meet my "prince charming" and live happily ever after instead of being a young woman realizing that "prince charming" does not exist and neither does happily ever after..

but i wonder sometimes...can there be a prince charming for me? maybe not one like the one in the movies but someone to come and sweep me off my feet...treat me like the princess..oh wait im sorry..queen that i am...
who knows when ill meet him...i may have met him now..who knows? its so hard to read guys sometimes and i've learned that you never can tell..hell niggas these days be living double lives...lol

but idk...who knows...stay tuned and lets see what happens in the life of mercie..lol


Saturday, March 1, 2008

last first

(inspired by estee)

last first.

such a wonderful thought.

last first.

last first kiss.
last first hug.
last first date.
last first time.
last first

ever wonder when you will experience your last first?
IF you'll ever experience it....

Everyone has a last first out in the world..
its just a matter of finding them...or them finding you...
but sometimes with all the drama and bullshit you go through with someone thats just a "filler" ((someone to take the time until you find your last first)) it can make you wonder is there a such thing as 'last first'...

Even with all the bullshit I've been through..I like to be hopeful that there is a last first out there for me somewhere...
he could be texting me right now...lol
who knows...;-)