for me-when something seems too good to be true-it normally is

...and thats real talk....
its ironic...me and the guy that i used to date-which my friends called thug life cuz he had so many tats-took me the movies on our first date and we saw jumper..it was a part in the movie when the girl said-"normally in my life when something seems to good to be true-it normally is." when i heard that i 'hmphd' in agreement..thug life then looked at me and said do u believe that..and i said i sure do-and he told me well this-me and u-isnt...this is real..
HA!
aint that some shit...hmph

ive been in this terrible cycle...one no good nigga after the other-and it all started with the guy i met 2nd semester my freshman yr (the one w/ the fiancee)-then i met another guy 1st semester sophomore yr (the one who went ghost) and now this guy-2nd semester sophomore yr (the one who is soo confused)--i dont get it!! its been back to back..one hit after the other..the one minute i think i got something good going on to help me get over the guy that screwed me over before-i get screwed over AGAIN! and then im left to not only cope w/ one screw up-but two-and now three...
UGH!

and im not gonna lie..ya girl is lonely..there's a difference b/w bein alone and lonely and im not alone..nigga im LONELY! lol..i try to do things to make me forget that im lonely and things to take the loneliness away-but it doesnt work. i kno i freaked our my ex the other day cuz me and him was chillin and he said somethin and i jus broke down crying...i couldnt stop either!!! it was sooo embarassing! but i couldnt help it..i was overwhelmed with everything i had been feeling and it jus released. it was like he was giving me the attention i wanted but it wasnt what i needed...i need something real..i need what me and my ex used to have..((notice how i say used--we're jus friends now)) i jus wanna be in love and be loved-is that too much to ask?

i kno u cant rush things like that and all that good stuff..but i jus want that feeling...
and really all i REALLY want is to meet ONE guy to prove to me that they are not all the same..even if he AINT for me-i jus want to meet one to kno they exist....

but lemme stop w/ my sad ass depressing ass talk...lol

♥mercie™